Android Ladoo or Lassi? A page out of Sundar Pichai’s diary [Satire]
September 4: Dear diary, our announcement that Android 4.4 will be called KitKat hasn’t gone down too well with people. Especially, people in India are mighty disappointed that I didn’t name Android ‘Kaju Katli’. But what was I to do, no matter how big the company, it is after all a business and I have to keep Larry happy. But I’ve decided, no matter what people say the next Android will be Indian flavored. But there again lies another problem; I’m having a hard time deciding between ‘Lassi’ and ‘Ladoo’.
September 11: Dear diary, yesterday a huge consignment of boxes of ladoos and pitchers of lassis arrived at the campus from India. I won’t lie; it does remind me of home! I called in a meeting with other execs and asked them all to try the delicacies and help me decide which suits the Android brand better. I loved the ladoos and am glad that the guys (who also campaigned for Kaju Katli) were thoughtful enough to send us all the types to taste. I personally loved the Rava ladoo, but I have to admit the orange boondi ladoos do look more aesthetic and could make a nice logo. Our Android logo with a half bitten ladoo could also be symbolic as many might look at it as an Android holding an ‘Apple’.
Once the designers make me a logo, I could ask our sales team to partner with one of the shops in India to generate more revenue (should keep Larry happy!). Haldiram would be the best bet, considering it is available not only in India but anywhere there is an Indian community (they want to inhabit Mars next, I hear). Who knows, I could also get them to sign a lifetime supply of ladoos as a part of our deal.
But things are never as easy as it seems. The decision was divided and some guys also want to consider lassi as the next nomenclature. They really enjoyed the drink and remarked how it helped them digest their heavy lunch. Not many here have heard of the liquid dessert, but the IIT, Kharagpur students did put up a strong case for lassi in their letter to me and seeing its growing popularity, I’m willing to consider it.
My main concern is if it will look good with our Android logo though. I fear an Android holding a pitcher might give wrong ideas to people and especially parents. They wouldn’t want a drunk bot to go anywhere near their children, no matter how cute it is. With Nokia already mocking us and Apple on Twitter, I don’t want to voluntarily give any more ammunition to those Finns. Then again, by choosing lassi I would be breaking away from the tradition of naming Android builds on solid desserts and it could show how forward thinking I am.
This doesn’t look like an easy year for me. It’s going to be a pain choosing one among the two. Though it will make crores of Indians happy, I hope other countries don’t feel lost because they might not have heard of the dessert. I guess it is good in a way, they will hit Google to search about the name and we will get more hits. Haa, it looks like a win-win situation!